Read All ABOUT it

Hmm. It seems the ABOUT page beat the F.A.Q. page in a cage match and has replaced it as it should.

Update: Okay, okay. The old look again.

Apparently the white words on grayish background wasn’t exactly appealing to my eyes. It became a pain to read, and besides, this theme looks cleaner, and it somehow feels like this is my blog’s theme. It’s gonna stay like this. If it ever changes, then it’s not me posting, and you should stop reading for that reason. Okay, I’m sleepy, so I bid you ado.

Oh, and the word of the day was: change-your-theme-back-dummy!

Another Short Post Because I Suck

Word of the Day: Flea

They’re terribly annoying, aren’t they?

Apologies Accepted

Wow, three suckish, pathetic posts in a row. This deserves and explanation. (I say three, because this one counts as one of them.)

 Well, the first two were written when I was feeling sick as a dog and lazy as a cat, and this one, well, really has no excuse. I had time earlier to write something else, but I chose to unconsciously play Guitar Hero instead. Feel free to write angry e-mails.

 Well, anyway.  It’s too late to produce some excellent piece of literature right now, as I must go to work soon. I could always write something when I get off of work, but by the time I post it (which is estimated to be at around 11:34), it would technically be the 9th, according to WordPress, and my hopes of posting everyday this month would be ruined. NO!

 Well, today’s word is TACKLE, so go assemble a group of friends and challenge a pro football team to a game. If you win, let me know. If you lose, I hope it’s a pleasant hospital you stay at.

*cough*

Still sick. Still lazy. Today’s word is EXPLORATION. Go read about Lewis and Clark or something.

Awesome…

That’s today’s word. Too lazy to write anything. Kinda feeling sick. Click here and go away.

You’re Getting Sleepy

Word of the Day: Hypnosis

I don’t know much about hypnosis, except for what I’ve seen of it on TV. And since pretty much every show ever made has at least one episode featuring some kind of hypnosis, I should know a lot.

From what I can gather, all you have to do is swing a simple pocket watch in front of someones face, and they’ll undoubtedly stare at it, even though they should know what you’re trying to do to them. As they watch it go back and forth, all you have to do is tell them, “you’re getting sleepy,” in a gentle voice until they finally fall into a trance-like state. Now, they may seem asleep, but they can still hear every word you say. This is where the fun begins.

Don't let this be you

 

While they’re in a trance, you can give them any suggestion, and they’ll do it. Well, that’s how it works in the shows anyways. So, let’s say you need some laundry done, or need some errands to be ran. Just tell the person that when they snap out of their trance, they’re gonna feel a powerful urge to clean some clothes, or go pick up some groceries or whatever you need done. Then, you snap your finger in front of them, they wake up, and you watch them go to work. But why stop at groceries and laundry? You basically have power over their mind. Why not use this to your advantage? Allow me to give you some suggestions.

Tell them that, whenever they hear the word …

… Florida, they’ll feel they need to buy you an airline ticket to Tallahassee, and then forget all about the next day.

… pizza, they’ll order some pizza for you, and of course pay for it.

… blend, they’ll feel a powerful urge to stick their hand in a blender, and … well that’s only for people you hate.

…  help, they’ll testify for you in court.

… money, they’ll rob a bank, give you some of the goods, and turn themselves in. Again, this is for someone you generally dislike.

As you can see, the possibilities are endless. Hypnotizing someone can be the best thing to ever happen for you. Just remember, if someone starts waving a yo-yo in front of you, just look away. Just look away.

I Cannot Tell A July

Apparently July is some kind of blog-everyday month, so I’m gonna try. Try. This is not a promise that I will, because we all know I’m gonna fail at this, but I figured, what the heck.

Now, in order for me to succeed in this task, I’m gonna need a crap-load of crap to write about, right? That’s where my evil plan comes into action. Mwa ha ha … uh.

My plan is to use this website to get a random word each day, which I’ll write about in that day’s post. So, let’s just say the words for the previous three days were zombie, music, and comparing-girl-movies-with-robot-movies.

Also …

 

HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!!!

Hear that?

I like music, but not the kind of music almost everyone else likes.

I hate R&B and I’m not too sure about hip-hop. Also, I’m not too fond of country, or even jazz. Not even smooth jazz! I know, it’s crazy right?

Anyway, heres some bands I enjoy listening to, in no particular order. Maybe you’ll like ‘em too, you never know.

-Disturbed

-Linkin Park

-Bullet For My Valentine

-Killswitch Engage

-Sabaton*

-Dream Theater*

-Finger Eleven

-Korn

-Trivium

-311

-CKY

-Dragonforce*

-Drowning Pool

-Endless Sporadic*

-Godsmack

-Gorillaz

-The Killers*

-Limp Bizkit*

-Mana fest

-Metallica

-NIN

-Nonpoint

-POD

-Rage Against The Machine

-Slipknot

-Soulidium

-System of a Down*

-Tool

 

*No really, I do.

Transposal

Well, I’m sorry to say, I went to the movies yesterday, and I did not see Transformers 2. Please, please, hold your boos. And stop throwing beer bottles at me!

 The movie I did see was called The Proposal, starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Yes, it was sort of a chick-flick, but surprisingly, it did have some stuff in it for guys too. I know it doesn’t rank up with the amount of guy stuff in Transformers 2, but, actually, it comes close. Dare I say it surpasses Transformers!? Let’s see…

 Transformers

 Action: Giant robots killing (BOOM!) each other in huge battles while little humans (EXPLOSION!) wander around putting two-and-two together. Lots of explosions and guns and crap (AHH, MY LEGS!) like that. Basically perfect for us dudes. 5 out of 5

Hot Chick: Yes, Megan Fox is waaaay HOT. Not the hottest chick on the planet, but pretty darn close, I’m sure. However, her acting skills are equivalent to that of a 12-year-old in a school play dressed up as a tree, or some other scenery prop. Still, her hotness makes up for it. 4 out of 5

 Fight Scenes: From what I hear, Michael Bay improved on his sickening, makes-me-wanna-puke camera angles from the first movie. Plus, it’s giant robots fighting. It doesn’t get better than that, unless of course you throw in a giant jaguar. 4 out of 5

 Tough Hero: When watching movies, us guys need to a tough, brave guy for us to portray ourselves as. You know, pretend that it’s us up there saving the day and getting the hot girl. However, this is definitely not the case with Shia Le-boy-sure-aren’t-tough. From what I’ve put together from the first film, Sam is a hateful, intolerable teen who thinks it’s okay to hide giant robots from his parents, and even the proper authority figures. He’s also not very buff. No man wants to be him, even when he does save the day in the end, despite the robots doing all the work. 0 out of 5

 The Proposal

 Action: I’ll be honest. The closest thing we got for action in The Proposal was Sandra Bullock getting thrown out of a boat, and even then, it’s not very thrilling. But it does increase the drama to know that her character can’t swim, but she never really comes close to drowning anyway. 1 out of 5

 Hot Chick: Dear God, Sandra Bullock is hot! Sure, she’s a little older than Megan Fox, but she’s more respectable, and has way better acting skills. Plus, she’s basically naked in one scene, so that takes it from 4, to 5. 5 out of 5

 Fight Scenes: No real big fight scenes, but throughout the entire movie, Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are slapping away at each other’s faces, and trying to embarrass each other and generally causing discomfort in one another. No punches, no kicks, and no shooting; definitely no shooting … or explosions. But let’s not forget, people, that this is a comedy; not an action movie, so it was never really trying. 2 out of 5

 Tough Hero: Sure, Ryan Reynolds doesn’t end up saving the world, but he’s way better suited for the job than little Shia. Every guy in the audience would have loved to be in Reynolds’ shoes. He ends up saving the day, getting the girl, and never loosing his cool. He also listens to good music. 5 out of 5

 Score

 Transformers: 13

 The Proposal: 13

 So you see, The Proposal can be just as much a guy movie as Transformers 2. So if you’re girl tries to drag you to see The Proposal, and you’d rather see Transformers, think about it. You can experience just as much guy-entertainment with this chick-flick than with giant robots killing each other.

 Wait, what am I saying?!?!?!?

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

 

If you’re reading this, congratulations! The human race has managed to fuck up so bad that somehow a zombie-apocalypse has occurred, and you are fighting to survive. Now, this may be quite alarming, and you may be feeling a little, well, pants-crappingly terrified, but don’t fret. Simply follow these easy instructions, and you’ll be well on your way to not being dismembered and/or eaten alive.

Shelter

After seeing the horrors awaiting out on the streets, you may feel the urge to shelter you and your family in your home, boarding up windows and stocking up on supplies. However, this is most definitely not a good idea. Now I know that seems unreasonable, but trust me, us … er … i mean those zombies out there will tear through all those boards easily with their stick arms and decaying muscles. And then where will you be? Trapped in a little house with no where to run as hundreds of flesh-eating monstrosities proceed to corner you and rip you apart like a Christmas gift.

Trust me, the best option is to stay on the move.

 But, you can’t just up and leave the city, because, by now, the government will have undoubtedly quarantined your unfortunate little town, leaving you trapped in this hell until they work out a plan. Unfortunately for you, it probably involves nuclear weapons and months of radiation, so good luck with that my friend.

They'll lead you to safety.

Well, since you can’t just drive away from this horrifying nightmare, the best thing to do would be to find a good place to take refuge. And what better place than a gun shop, right? Guess again fool. Gun shops are a ticking-time-bomb waiting to explode. Accidentally cause a fire, and BOOM! You and your friends and family are up in flames, your bodies quickly burned into ash. So you won’t be coming back as one of u … uh … one of those beastly creatures outside. Yeah, them.

Transportation

You may be thinking that a nice armored truck, or a bulldozer or school bus would be just the vehicle for this particular threat. Sadly, you couldn’t be any more wrong.

 

No, the best option to ensure survival at this point is to stay on foot. After all, zombies are slow-moving, right? You could easily outrun u … them, right? No need to use a vehicle, and by the way, have you seen gas prices these days. Not only will you be saving yourself, you’d be saving money as well, and in this economy, that’s really all that matters isn’t it?

Weapons

 No doubt, by now you’re top priority would be to locate some guns, but you’ll be shocked to know that this too is a bad idea. Guns are heavy and will only prove to slow you down. Just imagine travelling with a loaded rocket launcher all day long. It can be tiring. Not to mention all the ammo you’d have to carry around, which is quite a hassle. Besides, zombies can be dealt with the old-fashioned way: hand-to-hand combat. Sure, everyone says zombies can easily be taken down with a simple bullet through the brain, but think about this. Zombies are slow, shambling, stupid creatures. Do really think they actually have a brain to destroy? I mean, why do you think they’re  always walking around looking for brains to devour? Because we … I mean they don’t have any. A simple punch to the stomach will knock them over long enough for you to get away. It’s not like they’ll grab your arm in mid-swing and bite a big chunk out of it. We …  um … zombies don’t exactly have cat-like reflexes.

Well, there you have it. Your flawless survival guide to an unpredictable zombie attack, which can surely happen at any time. I hope it helps you in your struggle to stay alive. Happy hunting!

-Kevin Zomb … uh … Xombie