My PS3 Collection (So Far)

I manned up and purchased my PS3 last year, and ever since then, it has yet to disappoint me. It’s almost the perfect system, and will finally be completely flawless when Modern Warfare 2, God of War 3, Resistance 3, Kingdom Hearts 3 (if they make it so) and Bioshock 2 are released in the future.

But until I inevitably buy those incredible games, I’m gonna have to stick to the awesome games I already have, which include:

Resistance 1 & 2

Resistance: Fall of Man was the first ever game I bought for the PS3. I wasn’t used to incredible graphics at that time, so, obviously, I was blown away. This game had everything a first-person-shooter needs to be great. Well, I wasn’t a big fan of the online multiplayer mode, but the Campaign mode was an experience that changed how I look at FPS’s. The co-op campaign was definitely the best I’ve ever played. My friends and I had a blast killing aliens and saving the world with Nathan Hale and his unknown black cohort, whose looks may or may not have been based on those of Ja Rule.

And then there’s Resistance 2.

Remember when Killzone 2 was about to be released earlier this year, and everyone was saying that it would be better than Halo (Sadly it wasn’t)? Well, little did everyone know that that game was already out. Yes, Resistance 2 is that good. It takes what every FPS has established as a necessity for a good shooter, and adds a lot more to that.

The Campaign is so much fun, I’ve played it so much that my thumbs were begging me to stop. I would have liked to see the traditional co-op mode, where you and a friend can beat the shit out of the Campaign, but the co-op mode in Resistance 2 is still good. But the game shines the most in online deathmatches. It’s more violent and grittier than Halo (because there’s no purple aliens) but it does lack vehicles, which Halo has plenty of. (Which, by the way, are mostly purple.)

Bioshock

My more recent purchase, Bioshock is a load of fun. The story is great and creative, and you get to pummel mutants and giant scuba divers with a wrench. What more could you ask for? Oh, you would ask for the ability to shoot fire, lightning, and swarms of bees from your hands? Well, that’s in there too, Mr. Complicated Demands. Sheesh.

But seriously, Bioshock is great. It does have a few glitches here or there, but fuck that, it’s great, okay?!

Orange Box

Holy Jesus, mother of God, three games for the price of one; all on one disc?!  That sounds too good to be true!

The game come with Half-Life 2, Team Fortress 2, and a game called Portal. Half-Life is amazingly good, and Team Fortress is just too much fun. Portal is the best of the three, however. It really tests the brain, and makes you enjoy it all along the way. Oh, and cake!

Tony Hawk’s Project 8

Pretty the much the same as all the other Tony Hawk games, only more open-world shit and all that. Also, a lot more of the color red.

Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock and Guitar Hero: World Tour

I’ve become increasingly and aggressively good at Guitar Hero since I bought GH3 earlier this year. Not really good, mind you. I can beat all the songs on Hard, except The Devil Went Down to Georgia (DAMN SONG!) and most of the songs on Expert. GH is very addicting, and may be the game I’ve played the most of all my games, though it may be the cause of extensive damage to my left pinky. Orange button, you can go to hell.

Grand Theft Auto IV

This game actually won the Videogame of the Year award in last year’s End of Year Awards, so you know I liked it. There’s nothing like mowing down pedestrians in a brand new Corvette (Coquette?) and just using a cheat code to fix the dents and clean the blood off of it. It really prepares today’s kids for life.

Scare-anormal Activity

I saw Paranormal Activity. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I put extra butter on my popcorn.

 To be honest, I was kind of hesitant to see PA. (No, not Pennsylvania. That’s a state.) Not because I was scared or anything, *nervous laughter* but because of all those commercials. Y’know, the ones that were airing nonstop last month featuring movie review quotes claiming it was one of the scariest movies ever made. I mean, c’mon Hollywood. That kind of marketing just leads to a guaranteed let down. I can’t tell you how many people kept asking me if I’ve seen it yet, and telling me, “They say it’s the scariest movie ever!”

 First of all, who are they? From what I saw, it was just one website that said that. Second of all, it was hardly the scariest movie I’ve ever seen. It took too long to get to the good stuff, and there were only a handful of actual scary parts.

 But, I got to give it praise for being creepy. It sticks with you well after you leave the theater. It makes you feel afraid every time you go to bed. It makes you ponder whether or not some invisible beast is watching you and living in your house, ready to grab your foot and drag you from your bed in the middle of the night. Or worse, make you stare at your spouse for hours as they sleep. That’s gotta make you feel tired in the morning.

 It really is a good film, and proof that low-budget horror movies can just as easily make you shit your pants as ones with a ton of cash supporting them; even do a better job at it. Though it’s not the scariest movie ever made, it does come pretty close, and that deserves some credit.

 The popcorn could’ve been better.

It’s October, It Is

Yes! Finally! October  has arrived!

I don’t have much to say right now, but let me just explain why I haven’t been posting a lot (or at all) lately. You may or may not know that my birthday was on the 17th last month, which gave me great reason to buy myself a new game for my PS3. Which game did I buy? Here, I’ll give a clue…

Can you guess what it is?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So far it’s turning out to be a very good game; so good that it’s causing me to neglect my blog. I definitely recommend it to anyone who likes a game with a good story. It’s a load of fun, and very addicting.

Anyway, I have some ideas for posts, so I’ll be back very soon. LOOK FORWARD TO IT DAMN YOU!!!

I Got Pictures On My Mind

Y’know what a good idea would be? Putting this on a shirt.

Com-tweet Waste of Time

So, Twitter.

Yet another social networking website (so popular these days), that allows its users to … actually, I don’t have to describe what it is. Odds are you already know, even more than me because I don’t have one, and most likely you do. Yeah you do, don’t deny it.

The title of this post basically describes all the feeling I have toward Twitter – as well as my pun-creating skills. Yes, I think Twitter is just a waste of time. Why? Well, because it’s basically blogging, except it strips it of all creativity, and, in most cases, basic grammar. You basically have to create some kind of witty, clever and all-around enjoyable piece of literature with a word limit of only 140. Let me repeat that – this time let it sink in. 140! That’s barely as much of this post that you’ve read so far.

But, to be fair, all you really have to do is write what you’re doing at that time. However, if that’s the case, then why isn’t every single Twitter post in existence something like: “Updating my twitter. Thumbs feeling slightly tired.” If you’re updating your twitter, or tweeting (stupidest. word. ever), at 6:23 p.m. then that’s what you’re doing at exactly 6:23 p.m., which, according to the Holy Law of the Tweet (no really, it is the stupidest word ever), must be written at that time. Therefore, Twitter is pointless. Case closed. Get this file out of here Wilson!

Following in the massive footsteps of Myspace and Facebook, Twitter is also used by every celebrity known to man, as well as some only known to reptiles. Here’s some examples of some tweets (I want to die) by some of today’s most popular stars:

 

“my plane just had to do an emergency landing. Engine over heated. fire trucks everywhere. good times.” –Ashton Kutcher

Good times = airplane emergency landing. The logic is astounding.

 

“Had a great day with my boys yesterday on a boat. Was so much fun. –Britney” –Britney Spears

Well, now we know where that song came from.

 

“Just got the best spray tan from St Tropez tan @FionaMLocke is the best! I look like a bronze goddess Fiona says! I can’t twitpic…to naked” – Kim Kardashian

 … uh

 

“Sushi with Shanks ” – Miley Cyrus

Seriously, what’s wrong with these people?

 

“Its feels earlier then it is, maybe its the ugly weather ….I need coffee” – Ashley Tisdale

See what I mean about the grammar? And stop with the smileys! Please, think before you tweet. (No, for real, get me a gun)

 

As you can see, Twitter may be responsible for about 70% of the entire world’s stupid. If you’re thinking about getting a Twitter, ask yourself these questions first: 1) Do I really do anything? 2) Do I really do anything worth mentioning? 3) Do I really do anything worth mentioning, and want it to be possibly read by millions of people? 4) Will anyone follow me? 5) Why not? I’m a pretty cool guy. 6) Does anyone care about me besides my family, or my cat?

In conclusion, don’t twitter. Unless of course your famous, in which case, tweet (*gunshot*) your stupid little head off, you bastard.

Failure

Just realized that I’m going out of town next week, meaning I won’t have Internet access available to me, meaning I can’t post everyday this month, meaning I fail, meaning darn. I figure I might as well stop now, while my head’s still intact. I’ll still post frequently this month until I leave; just not everyday.

It was fun while it lasted. Too bad it didn’t last so long. Still, I never thought I would make it halfway through the month. Also, DAMN YOU AMERICAN LEAGUE! YOU GOT LUCKY, THAT’S ALL!!! WE’LL WIN NEXT YEAR!!!

Oh, and since I “promised” another Follywood, here it is … in mini-form.

Spider-Man

In one of the Spider-Man movies (can’t remember if it was part 1 or 3) some random New Yorker reads a newspaper article that says that Spider-Man did something naughty (can’t remember what.) Then he says something along the lines of, “I can’t believe Spider-Man did that! My daughter basically worships Spider-Man like a god. Who’s she supposed to look up to now?!” I don’t know man, maybe her FATHER! Meaning, YOU! That’s typically what daughters do.

Well, there you go. Now I can sleep tonight knowing I’m not a complete and utter failure.

Not really.

Let's just say I'm going West.

Another Little Post

You want something to read? Click here.

Struggling…

is the word of the day. A fitting word of the day, as that is what I’m doing trying to post every single day this month. I have a new respect for websites that somehow manage to update daily.

Anyway, I’m currently working on another Follywood, since they’re kind of fun to write. Expect it tomorrow, otherwise it’ll be another little post like this. And I know you don’t want that, do ya?

Follywood 2

Continuing from yesterday’s post, here’s some more movie suckishness that must be read. This time we take a trip to a place called Hogwarts, where teenagers are taught to become mass murderers who can kill you with only two words and a flick of the wrist, instead of basic algebra, or a second language.

Alright, starting from the beginning, let’s see what I can find wrong in each Potter movie so far.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

The problem with this one lies within the climax, where Harry first sees Voldemort on the back of Professor Quarrel’s head. After killing Quarrel with his ”magic touch,” Harry is knocked unconscious by the spirit of Voldemort. But that’s not my problem. No, what I noticed is quite simple really. It’s the fact that, in this particular Potter film, Voldemort has a fucking nose!

Yes, when the ”Dark Lord” is resurrected in part four, we see that his nose is what can only be described as snake-like. No hump; just two holes, like the serpent he keeps with him at all times. But, in part one, he clearly has a nose. I mean, just look at the picture to the left. That’s definitely a nose there. So, what happened to his nose while he was drifting around as a spirit throughout parts two and three? Did it fall off Michael Jackson style? Did it get bitten off by a creature he was trying to kill and eat? Did he himself slice it off because he thought he looked better without? We’ll never know.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Why didn’t Dumbledore help Harry- a 12-year-old at the time- kill the fucking Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets?! Did he honestly think giving a young boy a sword automatically meant he would win against a snake the size of a house, who can kill you simply by looking you in the eye?

 As we saw in Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore has some pretty badass magical skills, and even the ability to teleport anywhere he wants, and the best he can do to help the world’s only hope of finishing Voldemort off once and for all is sending in a bird and a sword? Let’s be honest, he could’ve probably killed that snake in fifteen seconds. But no, he decides the responsible thing to do is let a boy who hasn’t even reached his teens handle it. I think he has Alzheimer’s.

Harry Potter  and the Prisoner of Azkaban

They have the ability to travel in time?! And they don’t even use it to save people’s lives, the lazy bitches. Sure, they help Sirius avoid certain death, but after that, they never utilize the power of time travel again! They could’ve used it in part four in order to save Cedric Diggory’s life, save Barty Crouch’s life, and even stop Voldemort from coming back. Hell, they could’ve even used it to stop Wormtail from escaping in part three, and even to go back and make some worthwhile bets on the Qudditch World Cup. Think, stupids, think!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

When Harry battles the Hungarian Horntail in the first task of the Triwizard Tournament, he uses that Accio crap in order to cheat and use his super-fast broom to win.

What the hell, the rules say you can’t use a broom. What, you’re only allowed to use certain items if you can somehow make them come to you? If you ask me, Harry should’ve been disqualified … and then he would never have gone to the graveyard and Voldemort would’ve never been resurrected and Barty Crouch Jr’s plan would’ve failed holy shit I’m a genius!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

The error in this one isn’t as bad as the others, but  it still deserves to be mentioned. Okay, there’s a scene where Dolores Umbridge busts Dumbledore’s Army while they’re training in the Room of Requirement. How did she find out about where they were you ask? Well, she simply used a powerful, truth-telling drug on Harry’s crush, Cho Chang, and she blabbed it all out.

After they’re caught and subsequently punished, the little army of wanna-be master wizards proceed to give poor Cho the cold shoulder, a pretty cruel punishment, I think. I mean, they used Veritaserum on her, a drug which Snape said can even make Voldemort spill his darkest secrets with just one tiny drop in his coffee. What, did they think Cho, a fuckin’ fifteen-year-old girl, could somehow have resisted it’s effects? The bastards! Cho, I feel your pain.

Well that concludes today’s post. Oh, and the word of the day is floccinaucinihilipilification. I don’t know what to say about it. Um… just try and find a word that’s longer than it, I guess. And none of that Supercalifragi-crap. I’m watching you.

Follywood

Today’s word is TOMORROW, but I’ll get to that after I get something off my chest. It’s actually a few things, but they all involve the same topic – movies. A few films have passed before my eyes in the past week, and in each one, I have found something that really just doesn’t make any sense. They’re all things no one would notice on their first viewing, but I’ve seen each of these a few times, so I got so bored of them that I just had to find at least one problem with each one, with no motive. And what do you know, they’re gonna be in this post.

 

National Treasure

 There’s a scene in the movie where Ben and Riley have parked their van in some park just after successfully stealing the Declaration of Independence and rescuing Abigail from Ian. They’re apparently trying to decide whether or not to go to Ben’s dad’s house to fetch the Silence Dogood letters, while Abigail is listening in on the whole thing, eager to take the Declaration from them because she thinks they’re both insane. After Ben constantly tells her to “shut…up,” and finally lets her hold the document so she can settle down, what does she do? Well, she does what all of us would’ve done in her situation, namely kick of her heels and make a run for it. But, unfortunately for her, Ben catches up to her within three seconds and grabs the Declaration out of her hands, telling her she’s more than welcome to leave, just not with the document. Now, this is the part that I just don’t get. She refuses to go anywhere without her precious Declaration, when she could’ve simply left, contacted the FBI, and explain to them what had happened and the exact location Ben and Riley were headed to. The police would get there first, ambush them, arrest them, and save her dear document and return it to safety. Voila, all is well. But no, she decides to stupidly stay with the two thieves, and risk being murdered for knowing too much.

 Then there’s the scene where Ben has been captured by the FBI, and is being interrogated, after just finding Benjamin Franklin’s bifocals, and after the Declaration has been stolen by Ian. During the interrogation, Ben’s cell phone rings. It’s Ian. The FBI agents listen in as Ian tells Ben to meet him at a certain location, and to … drumroll please … “bring those glasses you found at Independence Hall. Yeah, I know about the glasses.” Alright, my question to you is this: how the hell does he know about the glasses?! He didn’t see Ben get them; he had no idea why Ben was even there. There’s simply no way he could acquire that knowledge. He couldn’t just Google “Independence Hall” like he did with “STOW Declaration of Independence.” Actually, now that I think about it, I guess Abigail could’ve told him when she called him. Damn, and I though I was clever.

Well, the rest is for TOMORROW folks. See ya then!