[I needed something to post today, and I won't have time to write something later on (It's midnight now), so I'll just copy and paste a review I wrote a while ago on my Myspace blog. Enjoy!]
Movie: I Am Legend
Starring: Will Smith
Dog Deaths: One
Alright, today I decided to review I Am Legend, a truly marvelous film that’s only bad after you’ve watched it over 7 times, which i have.
Ok, so the movie starts with Robert Neville(Smith) driving around New York in a super cool Ford Mustang with his dog, hunting……deer? In New York? Yes, because the city is empty. Yes, empty.
The movie explains that some woman invents a cure for cancer, and I’m pretty sure she’s the lady from Stranger Than Fiction. So Karen Eiffel is evil…..sorry, lost my train of thought.
So, apparently the cure for the cancer somehow becomes a virus that infects those given it. The infected are turned into some kind of creatures that are a cross between zombies and vampires, because they hate sunlight and infect others with their bite.
So, supposedly the entire human population is either dead or infected and hiding in the shadows as Neville hunts for his food,(though he could just go to the grocery store and get anything for free, but i guess that’s just too easy.)
Neville and his German Shepherd, Samantha, return home after their deer is eaten by…..lions? In New York? I guess from the zoo.
Neville is giving his dog a bath, when suddenly his watch starts beeping. A severe close up of his face passes and then he locks up his house withs giant, sliding, metal walls over his windows. He then curls up in the tub with Sam and we here faint wails and zombie screams in the back ground. Not very scary. We then see a flashback of Neville picking up his wife and daughter at their home and frantically taking them in a government Suburban and driving off, apparently taking them to a place where helicopters are transporting only the uninfected to a safe, secure location.
Lots of crap happens that show Neville and Sam’s lifestyle in this god-awful future of 2012, I think. The action really gets good when Neville catches one of the infected and ties it up in his laboratory basement and studies it. He intends to find a cure for the virus and save humanity. Well how nice of him.
Then, one day as Neville is driving in his Ford Expedition,(It’s a Ford movie) he falls victim to a trap that the infected set up and is left hanging upside down, unconscious until he awakens near dark. He breaks free and is attacked by viscious infected dogs. He doesn’t have to worry about being infected because for some reason, he is immune to the virus. But Sam is bitten! Oh No!
He escapes and takes Sam to his lab to try and cure her. But, cue sad music, Sam turns into an infected, snarling beast and is strangled to death by her former master. Neville, who is extremely angry now, goes out and picks a fight with a few dozen infected humans before having to be rescued…..by other humans!?
It turns out other humans may have survived. A woman and her son take Neville to his home and cook him breakfast, and show him Shrek, which he has apparently seen, because he recites a scene from it word for word. Creepy, yet humorous.
So eventually their home is attacked by some infected and they take refuge in Neville’s lab. If you’re not watching the alternate version, then Neville kills himself along with all the infected with a grenade, but the woman and child survive.
Oh yeah, there was another flashback that shows a helicopter that Neville’s wife and daughter were in that gets hit by another helicopter and kills them.
The woman and child take the cure that Neville found to a group of surviving humans in Michigan or something, and voila….the end.
Hero’s dog dies, hero’s family dies, hero dies, cure found, and we are just left to imagine if the cure helps humanity regain dominance on Earth and live a new type of life that has no war or violence at all. Or maybe we just start where we left off.
Score: 8.9
