Well, I’m sorry to say, I went to the movies yesterday, and I did not see Transformers 2. Please, please, hold your boos. And stop throwing beer bottles at me!
The movie I did see was called The Proposal, starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Yes, it was sort of a chick-flick, but surprisingly, it did have some stuff in it for guys too. I know it doesn’t rank up with the amount of guy stuff in Transformers 2, but, actually, it comes close. Dare I say it surpasses Transformers!? Let’s see…
Transformers
Action: Giant robots killing (BOOM!) each other in huge battles while little humans (EXPLOSION!) wander around putting two-and-two together. Lots of explosions and guns and crap (AHH, MY LEGS!) like that. Basically perfect for us dudes. 5 out of 5
Hot Chick: Yes, Megan Fox is waaaay HOT. Not the hottest chick on the planet, but pretty darn close, I’m sure. However, her acting skills are equivalent to that of a 12-year-old in a school play dressed up as a tree, or some other scenery prop. Still, her hotness makes up for it. 4 out of 5
Fight Scenes: From what I hear, Michael Bay improved on his sickening, makes-me-wanna-puke camera angles from the first movie. Plus, it’s giant robots fighting. It doesn’t get better than that, unless of course you throw in a giant jaguar. 4 out of 5
Tough Hero: When watching movies, us guys need to a tough, brave guy for us to portray ourselves as. You know, pretend that it’s us up there saving the day and getting the hot girl. However, this is definitely not the case with Shia Le-boy-sure-aren’t-tough. From what I’ve put together from the first film, Sam is a hateful, intolerable teen who thinks it’s okay to hide giant robots from his parents, and even the proper authority figures. He’s also not very buff. No man wants to be him, even when he does save the day in the end, despite the robots doing all the work. 0 out of 5
The Proposal
Action: I’ll be honest. The closest thing we got for action in The Proposal was Sandra Bullock getting thrown out of a boat, and even then, it’s not very thrilling. But it does increase the drama to know that her character can’t swim, but she never really comes close to drowning anyway. 1 out of 5
Hot Chick: Dear God, Sandra Bullock is hot! Sure, she’s a little older than Megan Fox, but she’s more respectable, and has way better acting skills. Plus, she’s basically naked in one scene, so that takes it from 4, to 5. 5 out of 5
Fight Scenes: No real big fight scenes, but throughout the entire movie, Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are slapping away at each other’s faces, and trying to embarrass each other and generally causing discomfort in one another. No punches, no kicks, and no shooting; definitely no shooting … or explosions. But let’s not forget, people, that this is a comedy; not an action movie, so it was never really trying. 2 out of 5
Tough Hero: Sure, Ryan Reynolds doesn’t end up saving the world, but he’s way better suited for the job than little Shia. Every guy in the audience would have loved to be in Reynolds’ shoes. He ends up saving the day, getting the girl, and never loosing his cool. He also listens to good music. 5 out of 5
Score
Transformers: 13
The Proposal: 13
So you see, The Proposal can be just as much a guy movie as Transformers 2. So if you’re girl tries to drag you to see The Proposal, and you’d rather see Transformers, think about it. You can experience just as much guy-entertainment with this chick-flick than with giant robots killing each other.
Wait, what am I saying?!?!?!?
