I Got Pictures On My Mind

Y’know what a good idea would be? Putting this on a shirt.

Com-tweet Waste of Time

So, Twitter.

Yet another social networking website (so popular these days), that allows its users to … actually, I don’t have to describe what it is. Odds are you already know, even more than me because I don’t have one, and most likely you do. Yeah you do, don’t deny it.

The title of this post basically describes all the feeling I have toward Twitter – as well as my pun-creating skills. Yes, I think Twitter is just a waste of time. Why? Well, because it’s basically blogging, except it strips it of all creativity, and, in most cases, basic grammar. You basically have to create some kind of witty, clever and all-around enjoyable piece of literature with a word limit of only 140. Let me repeat that – this time let it sink in. 140! That’s barely as much of this post that you’ve read so far.

But, to be fair, all you really have to do is write what you’re doing at that time. However, if that’s the case, then why isn’t every single Twitter post in existence something like: “Updating my twitter. Thumbs feeling slightly tired.” If you’re updating your twitter, or tweeting (stupidest. word. ever), at 6:23 p.m. then that’s what you’re doing at exactly 6:23 p.m., which, according to the Holy Law of the Tweet (no really, it is the stupidest word ever), must be written at that time. Therefore, Twitter is pointless. Case closed. Get this file out of here Wilson!

Following in the massive footsteps of Myspace and Facebook, Twitter is also used by every celebrity known to man, as well as some only known to reptiles. Here’s some examples of some tweets (I want to die) by some of today’s most popular stars:

 

“my plane just had to do an emergency landing. Engine over heated. fire trucks everywhere. good times.” –Ashton Kutcher

Good times = airplane emergency landing. The logic is astounding.

 

“Had a great day with my boys yesterday on a boat. Was so much fun. –Britney” –Britney Spears

Well, now we know where that song came from.

 

“Just got the best spray tan from St Tropez tan @FionaMLocke is the best! I look like a bronze goddess Fiona says! I can’t twitpic…to naked” – Kim Kardashian

 … uh

 

“Sushi with Shanks ” – Miley Cyrus

Seriously, what’s wrong with these people?

 

“Its feels earlier then it is, maybe its the ugly weather ….I need coffee” – Ashley Tisdale

See what I mean about the grammar? And stop with the smileys! Please, think before you tweet. (No, for real, get me a gun)

 

As you can see, Twitter may be responsible for about 70% of the entire world’s stupid. If you’re thinking about getting a Twitter, ask yourself these questions first: 1) Do I really do anything? 2) Do I really do anything worth mentioning? 3) Do I really do anything worth mentioning, and want it to be possibly read by millions of people? 4) Will anyone follow me? 5) Why not? I’m a pretty cool guy. 6) Does anyone care about me besides my family, or my cat?

In conclusion, don’t twitter. Unless of course your famous, in which case, tweet (*gunshot*) your stupid little head off, you bastard.